Emotions are running through me

So rapidly..

Here I am… at the daily grind. Recently, feeling superior because I realized I don’t need a relationship because there is always college after all. If I get in a relationship with anyone, chances are we won’t stay together for long. How would we ever manage to go to the same college? Not to mention the chances are incredibly high that I will find someone who I like in college, wherever I go. I mean it’s a HUGE campus, there is bound to be someone who will love, or even like me as much as I would them.
So as I was saying, I was just sitting in a corner working on a Richard III Lit review I really am enjoying at the moment. It was such a great read and funny even when it’s suppose to be serious (only because the people in it are idiots). I digress. So I’m sitting here and I look over and see this girl sitting in a couch chair. She fell asleep and I look over and see this boy sitting across her looking at her with a smile. He tries waking her by tapping her but she does not stir. He tries everything he can and she won’t wake up… So he leans in and gives her the most beautiful kiss I’ve ever seen to her (even better than movies). She slowly flutters her eyes open and she sighs and smiles and they kiss again…
That had to be the most romantic thing I had ever seen. I’m the kind of guy who thinks romance=simplicity…. Don’t get me roses, or presents or something of value. Though presents are nice, it doesn’t say “romance” to me. I prefer to be surprised (and not the shocked kind) but a pleasant, sweet little thing that no one would have thought mattered. The littlest things would take me there, to my peaceful serenity of a relationship. So it poses the question, why are some things more attractive (romantically) to people than other things, is everyone who thinks gifts are romantics just kind of in the relationship and wants tangible proof that they are loved or do the little things truly do matter? I don’t need something I can show people and say “look here, I’m loved” I need something that I’ll know in my heart, means you love me.
Which turns I into a hypocritical bastard and I start wanting that relationship. There are a few people I could imagine going that extra mile with, but for some reason I stop myself from acting on it. What happened to the Steven that took chances and decided, enough is enough, they have to know. I’ve turned into someone who really thinks things out before I act out on it. It’s a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but also bad, because if I never take that leap of faith, will I ever find the one. Is there a one or are there the people that we can manage to live with.
“each morning I get up, I die a little, can’t barely stand on my feet, take a look in the middle and cry, ‘lord what you doing to me’…” these words make more sense every day of my life...